Bella's Stoner Series
by Wolfgirl1234
Summary: This is a series of stories of Bella getting babysat. They are separate and are different scenarios of Bella getting into some trouble with all the Cullen's and the Pack. beside Edward . OOC cannon pairings M not soft enough for T.


**AN:**** Hey guys I'm back with a fanfic series that will hopefully make you laugh (As intended). The summary says it all. This came to me when I was reading **_**Bella and the Bear**_**. That story is totally recommended. Anyways, enough of my blabbering, enjoy the story!**

**Bella's POV:**

I was, once again, being babysat. That was quite annoying considering the fact that it was against my will and I wanted to see Jake. The worst part was; Emmett was supervising me. This was the first time he was so his mood was, to say mildly, excited. That was an understatement that disturbed me. I would just have to endure it.

"I'll be back by tomorrow, love," Edward said while taking his leave. He gave me a chaste kiss and left without another word. "Oh Bella! Come here please! I have a surprise for you!!!" Emmett called from the living room. _Why must he do this to me?_ I internally asked myself. "Coming!" I called in return.

I sauntered dejectedly towards his jovial presence. Once I walked into view, Emmett became impatient and quickly picked me up and set me on the long, white couch. "What is this surprise you were speaking of?" I said before sighing in boredom and defeat. "Ok, so you know what marijuana is, right?"

It took me two seconds before I figured out what he was getting at. He gave me a hopeful expression and I gave an appalled one. "Emmett! No way! My dad is the chief of police! I've been taught right from wrong! This is definitely wrong!" Emmett's smile wavered slightly before answering with, "I know that it's just I thought this would be fun considering you needed to loosen up."

His face turned into a puppy dog pout that I _could not_ refuse. I sighed once more and then gave him a nod of approval. "Fine! I'll do it but you have to do it with me, even though it won't affect you." He squealed happily, much like a girl. I just couldn't comment on that. Emmett reached into his back pocket and pulled out this small bag of weed.

I eyed it, skeptically. _Why am I about to do this? _I thought. "I looked it up online and this website said that you either use a bong or some rolling paper so we can make a blunt. I prefer a blunt, considering the fact that we only have a dime." I gave him a confused look, questioning his knowledge and how he acquired it.

He just sighed impatiently and quickly explained that the internet is sometimes quite useful. I just laughed and said, "Ok, well, we should roll a 'blunt' then. You should do it since you know more about it than me." He nodded and whipped out a piece of gum. I, once again, didn't understand but didn't question, so we could just get this done. Emmett then, carefully, peeled off the foil side of the gum wrapper after tossing the gum to the floor, carelessly.

"This paper is very good for rolling. It's nice and durable. I asked the dealer. He was nice." After he was done he placed the weed inside the paper and rolled and licked it. He seemed pretty skilled for someone who never done this before. He finished our first blunt.

"So what you do is inhale, inhale again, hold it as long as you can, then blow it out," he explained. I just nodded lamely as he lit the joint. "Why did you think this was a good idea?" I asked him while he took a drag expertly. "I remember hearing somewhere that weed helps relax your muscles and such."

"What makes you think I need relaxing? I am perfectly chill." I grabbed the illegal drug from him and followed his instructions carefully. I inhaled the wonderful smelling herb and was sent to somewhere blissful. I stopped thinking about everything. For once, since I had met Edward, I didn't have a single thought about him. It was refreshing.

All thoughts were cut away. "Jeez, Bells! Don't forget to share!" I wondered why he was wanted some if it didn't affect him. "It's because it does affect me but to an extent." He then whispered, "That extent is a long one! It's so trippy, dude." I hadn't noticed I said that out loud. I could barely pay attention to his talking as everything started to move around in this awesome circle of... awesome.

He took a long drag then it was all gone. I started getting pissed. "Emmett, don't tell me that was the last of it?! I wanna get naked!" I removed my shirt and skirt that Alice bought me in record time. "You know what?! Don't get a tone with me! And me too!!" At vampire speed he ripped off his shirt and cargo shorts.

"Rosalie is gonna get mad at you!!!" I yelled at him. "I don't care! She's kinda a bitch anyways. But I LOVE HER SOO MUCH!!!!" Everything was perfect in that moment, two friends getting high for no reason in particular. "Edward is SOO boring!! He always thinks he knows what's best even though he's been a virgin for like a bajillion years!! What does HE know?! Huh?!"

"I told him not to leave, you know. He just does what EEEVVVEEERRRR he wants whenever he wants 'cause he's gay!! I have always loved you like a sister!! Kiss me!" I leaned over and kissed him passionately before saying, "I want some GOD DAMN BROWNIES, BITCH!" I was never the one for cussing but at that point I was up for anything.

Emmett and me laughed at my bluntness and we stumbled, yes I said WE, to the kitchen looking for brownie mix. "Hey Em! Do we have anymore pot? I want to use a bong this time, though!" He gave me a quick wink and then ungracefully, for once, ran upstairs and came back in two seconds. He had something behind his back as he walked at human pace into the kitchen.

"Let me see what's behind your back Emmett!" He brought his hands to show that they held a purple and black bong and a HUGE ass bag of weed. I was super happy at that point. "YAY!" We said as we jumped up and down. I finally found the brownie mix and started making the best thing known to man! Pot brownies!!

While I was mixing Emmett set up the bong and took a couple of hits before passing it to me. I took exactly five puffs and then I was shot into the air of trippy, high-y, goodness! I popped the brownies into the oven and started talking to my new bestie. "So Emmett, wanna have a quickie?!" I asked excited.

Emmett sat on the counter top and contemplated my offer. "I dunno, Bells. You're so hot and all its just what if we get caught?" I gave him a confused expression. He just laughed and said, "Just kidding! Me?! Turn down sex?! Never!" His giant guffaw boomed through the house as I made my way, clumsily, to him. He bent down to my height and kissed me more fiercely than Edward ever would while I was human.

His strong arms wrapped around me and lifted me to straddle his waist. I could feel his erection bulging through his torn boxers. My arousal was growing as he kissed my neck giving me a hickie. Edward would not be pleased. _Who cares about stupid old Edward? _Just when I thought nothing could ruin our moment, the timer on the oven goes off and I _REALLY _wanted brownies.

Emmett hopped off the counter with me still in his big arms and sauntered over to the oven and grabbed the brownie pan and set it on the island. "I want brownies before sex. Brownies are beast!" I ate one, not caring if it burnt my mouth, and was sent into my little piece of heaven once again by that magical herb.

Emmett and I wore the same face of relaxing and comfort. Some of it was from the brownies but most of it was in each other's arms. Weird. _He's such a good bro! I wish Edward would be this chill!_

**Emmett's POV:**

"Ok so let's go do it somewhere sexy." I growled at my precious Bella. She just smiled and said, "The piano. Now." She didn't have to tell me twice so I ran us to Eddie's piano and ripped off her panties, wasting no you sure you want this?" I asked as I looked deeply into her eyes. "Yes." She said, breathily as she put the last brownie in her mouth while weighing my expression carefully. My face turned from passion to an angry, childish, pout.

She giggled with the brownie in her mouth and smiled, chocolate all in her teeth.I started laughing so hard I fell off the piano with her following suit. "Lets run around town like a dis!" Bella said as she motioned to our exposed bodies. "Hmmm….. Um… OK!" I replied happily. I picked myself up and quickly lifted her to her feet and we skipped out the door incredibly slow, due to our highness and she was a human.

We made it out the door before she realized something. "WAIT!!!" She ran back inside and came back out two minutes later. In her hands she had the bag of weed, which still had a lot in it, and some paper. "Roll some! IDK how and I want to be extra baked for what we're about to do!!" I just nodded and went top speed at rolling six blunts. I was done in two seconds.

She squealed in rejoice and jumped up down, managing to grab two joints from me. She lit one up with a lighter that she also snatched from my pants pocket. Bella took one long drag and held in, then passing it to me. I finished it off and was shooting into oblivion and all the colors of the world were mixing together to become a beautiful shade of an un-named color.

"Blellowple," she whispered while looking intently into the grey sky. "Leeetttss GOOOO!!!!" I shouted and threw her onto my back so we could run to the end of the drive. We arrived to the road without a hitch and she was giggling the whole time along with me. We danced along the road with cars honking at us during. I noticed that Bella is way more graceful baked than she is sober. Huh.

"Lalalalalalala!!! Hey Emmett! I see Rosalie's car!! HAHAHAHA!" She shouted pointing at Rosalie's car careening down the road. I caught a glimpse of her face and she looked _pissed._ I just laughed and continued to spin Bella around in a waltz, tango mixture, the wango. "Emmett!!!" I looked at who was calling my name and indeed it was Rose and God those death glares are so… deadly.

"Hey, baby! Watcha doin?! Me and half naked Bella are wangoing!!" I shouted in her direction whilst twirling. "I'm here to tell you that I want to try some! HAHAHAHA!!" Whoa! That wasn't expected! "Here's a lit joint and don't hog it all!" Bella handed her the blunt and watched Rose take it in. "Now I see why you do this shit!! I wanna get naked!" She ripped her outfit off and was left in lacy panties and bra.

"You know what I tink?! I a say treesome!" Bella whispered in my ear. I thought about it and said, "Hell jes to deh treesome!!"

**Hours Later….**

That was the greatest sex ever. Luckily, I came down from my high in time for Edward to come home to a clean home and a perfectly normal Bella. She enjoyed getting high so much that she suggested that me and Rosalie stay with her every time Edward's away. "I agree, considering the great time Bella had." I said while winking at her. She giggled. "Ok, well if it is ok with her then I don't mind. I completely trust you."

Edward smiled at her lovingly and then they went to hang out in Esme's garden. I gave Rose the all knowing look. "She really isn't that bad, when she's incapacitated. She is just less annoying." My love had said. I know next time will be even better.

_**END!**_

**AN:**** Ok this series will be hilarious!!! Next chappie is gonna be even better and more pot smoking, along with drinking, and some crazy shit!! HAHA! Please review. Tell me what I need to fix. ******** BYE!**


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